Before the goodnight kiss: Who does not remember bed-time stories told by parents?

Rachana Ramesh

“When I was little I had the top of the bunk bed to myself and my dad used to climb up every night and tell me the story of the lion king because it was our favourite movie,” says Drishti, who often gets confused to be the triplet along with her younger twin brothers. “My brothers used to be fast asleep earlier, so it was only me that that heard the stories,” she adds. She is now an adult, just graduated and far away from the age where your nightly habitual routine had bedtime stories, followed by a goodnight’s kiss. “He did it without fail every night and it used to be the best part of my day,” she continues.

Who does not remember a beautiful fable told by their parents right before bed? Or that elaborate story of family secrets narrated by their grandmothers? The short span of time during which children pay all their attention to listen to stories has a remarkable impact on a child’s life. Bedtime stories strengthen the bonds of affection between the little ones and their parents. It is also often the event in childhood that develops and leads to the process of falling in love with books and stories.

“It was usually from storybooks or just straight up the lion king movie,” Drishti chuckles. They are mostly recited right out of a book or the narration is of a preexisting story, may it be the story of “Cinderella” or that of “Snow White”. But how can we make this cherishable routine much better? Parents must consider taking a chance for offspring – make up fictional stories about characters dear to their children or even narrate stories from their own lives.

Why bother? Why not just end our bedtime ritual with a book? Any variety of storytelling – may it be read or heard – has shown to have scores of benefits for children. It increases verbal exposure, is beneficial for socio-emotional development, and enhances their ability to retain information. In a setting of a hospital, it has shown to increase oxytocin levels and lower pain. And hearing stories about one’s own family, and knowing where you are in the family narrative, has been linked to greater resilience and happiness. Strong narrative helps build strong family bonds.

To get started, for example, think every scar is a story. Tell them the story of how it happened. Did you fall off a bike? Tell them the stories of their grandparents having stitches from the times they worked on the farms. Just like every scar is a story, every sight is too. This will eventually lead to them becoming more aware of their own culture and roots, opening them up to their family’s customs and traditions. It can help form the child’s identity while simultaneously building a relationship with the caregiver. The stories make an indelible impression on a child’s heart. 

Another thing to keep in mind is that many might be too young to latch on to aural stories. According to at least one study, they are too “cold” and the child requires visuals to make everything come into focus. “There’s this one scene in the “Lion King” where Simba is stuck with fire surrounding him.

He used to do the same thing everyday on my tummy – my belly button was Simba and his fingers were the fire. It’s such a small thing but yet, it stays with me to this day,” says Drihti. Little movements can have huge impacts. Raise your arms, turn into a bear, scrunch them in and become a chipmunk. The importance and soothing nature of repetition must also be kept in mind, both within a story and when telling it again and again.

George Saunders, a renowned fiction writer, in an interview said he and his children used to collaborate on plot and together invented a “mansplainer” named Eddie, a recurring character who allowed them to explore morality before shuteye. Get creative and teach them things. We are the only creatures who tell stories and it’s the job of adults to tell them to children. Do away with “Oh, I’m a little busy now” or “I just can’t think of one”.