Living the American dream: Typical life cycle of Indians in the USA

By Venkat Ankam

As an Indian immigrant in the USA, I have been asking myself the question — is settling in America worth it? — for a quite long time. The reality is 95% of the Indian immigrants are settling in the US and only 5% of the immigrants are going back to India.

I wondered if the major chunk (95%) of people settling in the US are making a wise decision or the small chunk (5%) of people going back are making a bad decision? So I asked this question to my friends and colleagues from the 95% category. But I could not get any profound answers.

My survey
It looked like people were just following the crowd or falling into the trap. So I did my own research asking specific questions to different age groups. Let me share my findings.

First of all, why do Indians migrate to the US? The usual answers were – scope for higher income and savings, better lifestyle and facilities. Now let’s see how these objectives were met during the life cycle of these Indian immigrants (NRI describes them better).

My survey was limited to NRIs in the field of science and technology mostly and a few business people. I took ratings on a scale of 0 to 10 (0 is low and 10 is high) for earnings, savings, stress levels, family relationships and happiness from different age categories. I chose people I have good relationships with and who were open to share their feelings. My “survey” took the form of a casual discussion.

I have categorised the life cycle of the immigrants I spoke to into four different generic phases (Transform, Settle, Growth and Suffer). Every person’s life is different so the depicted life cycle or living conditions may not apply to every NRI.

Transform Phase (21 to 28 years)
This is the excitement phase. You arrive in the US without the awareness that you have broken generations of living together and familiy bonds. You get really amazed with the superior infrastructure of America and start loving it. Get used to the American lifestyle with a few hiccups. Start making some money and throw parties, go shopping, take vacations and generally find life very comfortable.

Of course, you transfer money to India to support parents and talk to relatives and friends to share the greatness of America. Parents start looking out for a bride/groom. Then starts the green card process to continue living the American dream.

Settle Phase (28 to 40 years)
After a couple of trips to India, they get married and the spouse arrives in the US. The couple is happy initially but soon realises that expenses for two are higher than living alone. First baby arrives and parents and in-laws visit America. Advances in green card process and job changes and perhaps a move to a new location. Second baby arrives. Then the young NRI family visits India only to realise that parents are not quite happy staying alone. And that India has changed a lot and is more expensive.

Back in the US, you Buy a town home or condo, and switch to luxury cars. A single income is not really enough in the US. Wife decides to do a job: Income increases, savings increase but so does stress.

The much awaited green card arrives and they feel relieved. Vacation trips become hard with little kids so no big vacations.

Happiness level comes down due to missing family relationships and not being able to take care of aging parents.

Growth Phase (40 to 50 years)
You move up the career ladder and start making big bucks and also start making big bucks from secondary sources of income like stocks. Some might start a startup company or any business.

You get pretty busy with kids’ school and their extracurricular activities. Move into a bigger home. Kids are grown up now so vacations are back.

Parents are not able to visit because they don’t like to stay in the US. Also parent’s health will become a big concern. You make a few arrangements for parents in India but they are always temporary. Few realise that their friends in India have made more money than them. Also feel the need to focus more on health so start some physical activities to keep fit.

The phase usually is of higher income and savings, perhaps the most successful phase professionally for most people. But happiness level further comes down because of a lack of connections and concern about old parents.

Suffer Phase (Above 50 years)
By now kids usually finish their high school and go to a college. All savings will vanish in kids’ college education. Kids finish their education and start working at a different place in the US. The couple is living a lonely life in a big home away from parents and kids.

They cannot think of going back bec