Dispelling the myths about Polyamory

The panel discussion touched various aspects of loving multiple people

Falah Faisal

Bengaluru: In the last few years it might seem like monogamy is falling out of fashion with young people and polyamory has become a buzzword, with many preferring non-traditional relationship styles. In the Bengaluru the community is slowly been growing over the last decade with Polyculez, the polyamorous group, hosting an annual event this time in conjunction with Namma Pride 2022 in order to raise awareness and dispel myths around the concept.

There is a lot of misinformation and myths surrounding with polyamory with many think its a phase or that people in polyamorous relationships don’t really love each other. Simply put, it is the practice of, or desire for, romantic relationships with more than one partner at the same time, with the informed consent of all partners involved.

To make people better informed there was a panel discussion that explored the various aspects of polyamory including how to practice it while being married and how to normalize it to your children. “Polyamory requires a lot of honesty and open communication is very nuanced. Love is messy and so is polyamory,” said Kavita, one of the panelists at the start of the discussion.

She admitted that it might not be for everyone as conforming to societal expectations of monogamy is easy and peaceful. But added “We grow up loving both our parents, so in a way everyone is capable of loving multiple people, some more than others.” One of the main reasons people choose polyamory is because they are uncomfortable with the idea of ownership and of being owned that comes with monogamy.

“Expecting one person to be your everything and being there for them all the time is too much pressure,” said another panelist who is in multiple long distance relationships. “You don’t have to belong to a person in order to love them,” she added.

“An important aspect of polyamory is for it to be ethical, where you build trust and no one feels cheated,” says Rahul, the only male on the panel who talked about how he has prioritized his feelings in the last year and a half by choosing to be non-monogamous after a series of long term relationships that didn’t work out.

There also was a quiz after the panel discussion which helped people get accustomed to polyamorous terminology while also testing their knowledge about famous polyamorous people. It was a fun event with a strong sense of community between those who attended.