Chilling checklist and heartbreaking note: Techie’s suicide exposes silent struggles

NT Bengaluru

Atul Subhash’s tragic death by suicide has cast light on the hidden struggles faced by individuals in silence. A highly skilled tech professional with a specialisation in Artificial Intelligence, Subhash’s meticulous planning evidenced by a 24-page suicide note, a 90-minute video and a chilling checklist reveals a deep, unseen despair. His death not only raises questions about personal anguish but also exposes systemic failures, societal pressures and the silence surrounding mental health.

Subhash, originally from Uttar Pradesh, had created a printed checklist on his wall, titled "Before Last Day," "Last Day," and "Execute Last Moment." Another sheet bore the message, "Justice is due." These chilling details point to a person who had been silently suffering, making it all the more critical to examine the factors that led to his tragic end. Suicide ideation, or the contemplation of taking one’s own life, is a complex mental health crisis that impacts individuals from all walks of life. According to Supraja TJ, Founder of Mind Tattva and a counselling psychologist, “Suicide ideation often stems from overwhelming emotional pain, which can arise from a combination of factors. 

Mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, PTSD and financial or relationship struggles can worsen these feelings.” She adds, “Feelings of hopelessness and social isolation, often exacerbated by unresolved trauma, heighten vulnerability. It’s crucial to address these underlying issues with care and support.” In addressing suicide ideation, Supraja emphasises the importance of creating a safe space for communication.

“It is essential to ask gently, ‘Have you been feeling overwhelmed or struggling with difficult thoughts?’ This shows concern without judgment. Encouraging professional help is critical, as therapists, counsellors and crisis hotlines provide immediate support.” Preventing suicide ideation requires a shift in societal attitudes, beginning with reducing the stigma around mental health. “We must normalise seeking help and foster open dialogue. Community programs, peer support groups and workplace wellness initiatives can create supportive environments,” she stresses.

Suicide is not the solution. Help is available. If you are feeling helpless, please call +91 9880396331 or Tele MANAS toll free number 14416 or 1800-89-14416 for support.