The toxic ex: constructive ways to deal with the consequences of a breakup

NT Features

Despite the many populist writings that love lasts forever, the divorce statistics across various countries tell us that anywhere between one in 25 to two in three marriages end. If these statistics were to be taken into account the number of nonmarital long-term relationships that end, then it would skyrocket. Most of us experience a break of a relationship at some point or another in our lives. A romantic relationship that has spanned a considerable time, decades too in some cases, provokes intense feelings of loss when broken. This occurs even when the couple involved knew their relationship was problematic. They may have found their relationship dissatisfying and view their former partner as insensitive, selfish, argumentative, even unloving and still mourn the loss of it.

But there are constructive ways to deal with this. Brooding over the emotions instigated by loss and not accepting the relationship being broken apart, talking about the breakup with people who only increase your feelings of sadness and anger by reinforcing these negative feelings or who further highlight all that you have lost, are not particularly constructive ways of dealing with a breakup

Kanye West, legally named Ye, a Grammy-winning rapper, has been taking the break of his marriage with Kim Kardashian in the least constructive way. The 44-year old has spent the past few days ranting about Pete Davidson for his growing affair with Kim Kardashian, including forbidding the Saturday Night Live comic from visiting his children and labelling him mean names. Kanye has now erased all the pictures from his instagram account and has made a fresh post with a change of heart, seemingly realising the consequences of his actions. The social media posts that went on for days have sparked conversations about how one must take on the consequences of a breakup.

Women were brought up being told that if a man acts this way towards you he loves you. Momi @kassixoi

People are romanticising it but when it comes down to it it’s REALLY scary. This man has an OBSESSION. “I want a man that’ll act like Kanye if we split up” no you DON’T. BAT.@buriedbats

He thinks he is going to harass and bully her in front of the world and that’s what’s going to make her come back? And everybody think it’s funny juicy@planetshade3

One of my exes broke into my house with a weapon! Mind you I was underage and he was 20. I called the police so fast and got a restraining order. I was looking over my shoulder for YEARS. It’s not funny at all what’s happening to Kim, and I wish people would take it more seriously. Mint @mint_tibb