Being a single dad on Father’s Day

Rachana Ramesh | NT
Bengaluru

It’s been ten years since Jawahar’s wife passed away, leaving him alone with 11 days old twin sons. It’s been a struggle since to raise the twin boys while juggling work along with household chores, he says. Being a single parent is not an easy task. The one thing that is most required, support, does not effortlessly come by. Jawahar’s wife passed away due to a sudden heart attack.

“We had a religious ceremony for our 11 days old twins that day and even went to the doctors to get her dressing done since it was a caesarean delivery. But she passed away in the evening, while feeding the baby,” he said. “The initial days were painful. I had to raise the twins with the help of my mother in-law. Later, my uncle in Mysuru said he would take care of the kids for us. Now, I visit them once in a while, whenever time permits,” said Jawahar.

“Support is the most important thing when it comes to single parenting as a dad,” says Jawahar. Even when two parents are around, taking care of twins is a tough job. With the help of his mother-inlaw, Jawahar raised the kids but when she fell sick, he faced the real brunt of single parenting.

“I had to take leaves from work and catch on with household routines. I had to cook, do the dishes and also take care of my in-law,” he said. When asked if the organisation he worked with was supportive of his situation, Jawahar said he attended the office rarely and the entire team came together to be cooperative. “

There is no replacement for a mother. A man can do almost everything but he cannot be a mother. A lot of things that I have learnt and understood in the several years is how tough it is to live life without a woman,” Jawahar said.

“While a father can handle almost all aspects of parenting, he cannot be the mother. “I did not get a chance to independently raise my boys for a lot of reasons. Now, my motherin- law has passed away and I live alone. I would dedicate this father’s say to my support system, my uncle and his family who I am very grateful for,” he said